Night before my exam I have no urgency to study nor happy to force myself into studying since I am getting really tired of forcing myself into liking things that I am not fond of. I asked myself, “How much more if I live with this forever? or get stuck with this forever?” Life is hard, most especially when you want something to prove that Nursing isn’t the only choice for financial wellness. 

This is most probably because of my moody personality. I am not good in making conclusions, most especially immediate conclusions. Last vacation I had, I told my mother that I have found Nursing to be an interesting course and I will finish it. This despite of my experiences of being a maid in the school for two years now. I reached 3rd year level and I got exposed with the real deal. I changed the patient’s beddings dozens of times, measured urine, lifted a patient without knowing he pooped on his clothes, monitored vital signs every hour, administered oral and injectable medications, adjusted the flow rate of the IV, monitored O2 Saturation so on and so forth. It’s painful being not able to feed yourself properly, sleep properly, and enjoy working. I was feeling sick these past few weeks; nauseated, dizzy, disoriented, forgetful and… miserable. It’s sad to meet patients in the hospital always frowning, aching, and probably soon-to-be dying just like what happened last week. And with Pharmacology, my life is turning blue. 

It was my parent’s idea that I should take nursing. Still, I can’t help thinking I am now a graduating student if I had just stood up for my own interest and be happy at the same time. I blamed them several times in the past but I was able to forgive. It’s hard to simply say I can’t take it anymore since my mother had paid more than a hundred-thousand of pesos for college. I fear to fail her and also fear my future. 

The title of this post is in Russian. It says “Will I ever find happiness?”

There are a million or a billion of iPod’s sold worldwide. Together, they are packed with original earphones that costs P2,000 + ($30) to replace. How did I know? Simple… Because I just went earphone shopping today as needed to replace my 3 month old Philips earphones.

So there, I spent my 2 hours visiting different stores that sell them and I was surprised by what I observed. The stores aren’t offering a long term warranty on these products even if the manufacturer had set the warranty. For items less than P2000, they can only give as far as 1 week/7day warranty and replacement. As for the expensive ones, costing more than P2000 can give you a full 1 or 2 year warranty. I also got to listen how these expensive P10,000 + earphones perform… As expected they’re great!

The thing with these expensive earphones is I don’t see something really special about them. You can’t experience the fullest of its performance when you’re on the street (no matter how great it is, the noise on the streets will always limit the joy). Better invest it with something else for the living room. And with the price-warranty ratio, it’s just mad buying expensive items!

From my experience, ear phones only last about a month, the longest would be 3 months. Buying such an expensive equipment that doesn’t last longer than expected is just painful to swallow. And what could be more ironic is that many people have iPods or generic mp3 players and their ear phones are wearing out faster than they think everyday. Thus, in the side of the manufacturer is covered with smiles producing and selling hundreds of these products everyday.

The action I did while realizing that buying an expensive earphone with poor warranty had resulted to buying myself a cheap, modern looking earphone. That way, I can still have some time to smile.

So can earphones and/or headsets be green? Think about it.

I was browsing through this magazine entitled “Flex”. It’s a body building magazine that should help its readers achieve a great body. But I have found one rather confusing to read. The letters are quite compact and the whole article looks compressed beside the big ads with men who poses with their freaky body.

I dont mean that I hate these kind of body and hopefully you won’t consider it a statement coming from a racist because I am not. Going back to this magazine, I happen to notice that even one short articles they place an ad beside it. Turn the page and you’ll see another three big ads being promoted by the manufacturer. So who cares? Come on, where’s the quality in that if the majority of the content is advertisements.

I know how hard for the magazine to survive even with little ads but I recommend it should have been placed in a more proper way. I admire magazines with good content and quality. Take for example the C! Magazine. It’s great, helpful, and I pretty much envy Tito Hermoso which is probably one of the best motor journalist the world has given. I hope the price of the magazine will stay the same, though you may consider me rather “kuripot” for no agreeing price raise of this magazine. It’s something that can really beat the other so-called best selling, but the C! just feels like a Ferrari to read!

So to those who are planning to buy magazines in the future. Make sure you buy one with good content, take price vs. quality as a guide to the best one out there!

P.S. Why not share with us your magazine of choice. E-mail me at sandre_15 [at] yahoo dot com.

I’ve changed a lot for the past few months.

I know… because something happened this week. So my brother was asking me to borrow the car since I am on the gym that time and he needed it to visit his friend in a wake. No more details in that one. So I left the gym and drove as fast as I could only to end up in traffic. Where drew into my conclusions that I hate people cutting on someone’s lane. They usually try to find which lane is the fastest so from the innermost lane to the outermost they pick on which is the fastest only to make the others suffer of what they do because we follow the rules. I switched lane as early as possible but to the extent that many were doing it I got angry that I just really want to crash the “stupid driver(s” [sorry for such a word] can’t describe it in a much more angelic sort of way. And I was like, hey that one is stupid and the other one is stupid. I can’t believe educated people are doing such acts.

So after leaving traffic, about 40 seconds to 1 minute had passed. I decided to drive on the more “less” driven road. I passed by at a village in which I was stuck again for about 5 minutes with the engine turned on because this another guy was waiting for someone in the middle of the road! The road can’t be passed because it was being blocked by two parked cars.

So there my anger bursted out and I was like pressing my horn many times and still this guy was unable to respond. He wasn’t having a breakdown since he wasn’t using his hazard or cared to inform us motorists. After running out of my patience, again, I actually opened the door and yelled at the driver for about 5 times saying;

“Hoy! Wag kang gago, di ito parking area! Wag mo iharang ang kotse mo sa gitna ng daan. Umalis ka na dyan”

Which is in English translation “You fool, don’t be stupid… this is not a parking area. Don’t block your car in the middle of the road. Move your car now!”

I was so angry. To the extent that the neighbors living on this street went out to ask what was happening. So these people tried asking the driver to move the car since there is an available parking area if he just move his car a little bit. Surprisingly, he had his reasons despite many motorists about 5 are behind him.

I could feel my pulse that time and I couldn’t act like a christian sort of way.

But despite of all this, I did feel bad after that incidence. And I am really really serious to not act in that manner ever again. 

The gym staff even commented after hearing my story. He said, it’s life here in the Philippines. 

I am simply inspired and refreshed to be able to watch such an amazing masterpiece about love, patience, and most of all, hope.

Pacific High school where Nicole [Kirsten Dunst] and Carlos [Jay Hernandez] study. Nicole is a wreck, uncontrollable, and a daughter of a wealthy congressman while Carlos is some intelligent kid with big dreams of becoming a pilot. First time they met, Nicole was doing her community job in the beach when a Carlos and his friends were talking about her. After a few meet-ups they developed, yet not admitting that they love each other. It was very passionate, a girl thinks she is unlovable felt loved after her mom died with suicide. Nicole is self-destructive but Carlos was something unique, he knows how to set priorities and he truly loved the girl. But priorities can sometimes be distracted by her presence which puts the future of Carlos into jeopardy. Both of their families doesn’t agree with their relationship. 

The movie is great. It wasn’t love at first sight since it was more like “like at first sight”. I really enjoyed it and I would like to thank the director John Stockwell and the writers Phil Hay & Matt Manfredi. The angles were influential and inspiring as well. I also love the soundtrack and the photos taken by Nicole!

Lines from the movie:

When it’s real. When it’s right. Don’t let anything stand in your way.

She has so much beauty, so much honesty, and I love her so much.

There are millions of people out there but in the end it all comes down into one. 

I know there is still something beautiful in all my imperfections, a beauty which he held up for me to see.

Why do you hate me so much? How could you tell the only person in the world that I love, that I care about so much, how could you tell him to stay away from me? Do you think that the only thing I’ll ever do to someone is screw them up? That I’m not worth loving?

You can be anywhere when your life begins. When the future opens up in front of you. And you may not even realize it at first, but it’s already happening.

I want to take you away from everything that makes you crazy.

I’m seventeen, I’m supposed to get out of control.

Songs:

1. Ten Le Fe – Mellow Man Ace

2. Who Am I? – Lily Frost

3. To Be Free – Emilianna Torrini

4. Wait – Seven Mary Three 

5. Every Time – La Ley 

6. La Reina Del Lugar – Serralde 

7. Shattered – Remy Zero 

8. Boulevard Star – Delinquent Habits (featuring Michelle)

9. This Is Not My Life – Fastball 

10. Sumpin’ – The Pimps 

11. Alright – Osker 

12. Sleep – The Dandy Warhols 

13. She Gave Me Love – The Getaway People 

14. I Want To Believe You – Lori Carson & Paul Haslinger 

15. Perfect – Maren Ord 

16. Siempre – La Ley 

And before I forgot, tears were actually wasted on this film.

*Sorry for using “[]” instead of “(” my keyboard keys are broken and I can’t wait to have another rig working for me.

If you’re with me you’ll gradually realize that I am just an ordinary person thinking different stuff outside the box of my brain. This day, as always has been dedicated to thinking imaginary things in which I was able to set far new unimaginable goals.

Just a while ago at the gym, I was thinking of setting my 2009 goals in advance. One of these were a trip to Tokyo, Japan in October next year. You may find a clue from there on… It’s the usual Tokyo Auto Show event. I just hope by that time I will be able to process everything, from getting myself into the list of media goers who will be attending the event to the passports, tickets, food, and hotel accommodations. In there, I want to hear the Beethoven of engine sounds; the European orchestra, the American thunder, and the Japanese 3 banger kei car roar all in one place where I can just swipe my license and off I go for a test drive.

Of course, I wouldn’t miss the chance of getting myself some drive for the FCX Clarity and the i MIEV in which they are said to be the cars of the near future emitting no harmful substances. I would love to see more kei cars. I have been a fan of these small running ecnonoboxes for years already and I never get tired of watching them on the show.

Sigh.

These are just one of my wishful dreams. But being in the Tokyo Motor Show next year is one of my top lists to be considered on my vacations. I was also thinking of going to Bangkok, Thailand. I don’t really want to go there just to see the Mitsubishi or the Honda factory. I just want to visit a friend who happens to work there and possibly get a ride on their famous public transport system and a swim on the tsunami-prone beaches.

Sigh.

15 minutes from now will be a new day in the Philippines. And 15 minutes from now will be the 9th of June, 2008. As much as I would like to stir loneliness in myself, I would rather be grateful that he has reached one step toward his dream of becoming a seafarer boarding a ship ported in Sydney, Australia.

I have never met this guy personally, but only in the forum Christian Downloads. There we got to IM each other and shared different worlds. Unexpectedly, he was a Cebuano and I was a Bisaya speaking fat man. We had shared good Christian music and movies ever since he was still in Bangkok, Thailand. He then went home and underwent a training as a seafarer to be. Now he is!

There was a chance to meet a good friend over the internet. Though he is somewhat 10 years older than me… The gap was not limited in number of years, it was unlimited by grace. I don’t give any damn about ages too… I am used to be with older men. But it’s hard to miss a friend who taught you to listen to Jonah33, Starfield and the other bands. He has also been an inspiration to my life, he inspired me to break through all the pressures at school and focus on the future. 

So one thing I will always wish. That is for the next 9 months when you’ll be home in our ever poor country.

A safe Bon Voyage Friend!

So I recently went to the mall this afternoon to watch ’some’ movies that I have been waiting to watch other than their trailers these past few months. These were the Kung Fu Panda and the Chronicles of Narnia Prince Caspian. 

AND to tell you honestly, I loved the Chronicles of Narnia. It was more lively than the first one, more action, more surprises… it was simply more entertaining. Moving a bit with the Kung Fu Panda, the animation itself was awesomeness… But the story was kinda boring already since I’ve seen a lot of movies similar to these. 

Kung Fu Panda needs something better as an ingredient to their story line. 

It’s already around 5:00 am in the morning. I am suppose to be ready for school, but I found myself waking up too early so I decided to share with you some movies I recently watched and to be watched. I can name a few good titles that I finished watching and these are Ironman, Indiana Jones, AND Sex and the City! 

And honestly, I wouldn’t watch Sex and the City in the theatre because it has been terribly cropped by the MTRCB. However, the story line is great and I wouldn’t bother buying myself a copy in a DVD, not from Quiapo because it’s worth owning titles like these.

For the Ironman and Indiana Jones, I find them great for the family but it didn’t have that laugh as opposed to the Sex and the City movie. But still they are great movies and comparing comedy with fictional adventure is a little bit out of the line.

So anyway, I’ll be watching some more this June namely;

1. Kung Fu Panda
2. Meet Dave
3. Chronicles of Narnia Prince Caspian
4. 21
5. Caregiver
6. Mama Mia
7. Wallie
8. … this means it won’t stop there. lol